CL

I posted an ad on craigslist looking for friends (no serious, I did, I am that sketchy and desperate - this happened when I found myself with no one to call on a Saturday night and decided that this situation needed to be rectified).

Anyway, I obviously am not only looking for "friends" so I wrote up some crap about me and what I was looking for - single men under 35 who are fit, who can carry on a decent conversation, and who will send me pictures of themselves.

Some of the responses that I've received DEFINITELY need to be shared with the rest of the interwebs. We'll start with -

THE GOOD:
1. Princeton Junior who attached his facebook profile as a photo. Cute, decent, interesting.
2. Emory Senior who is quite smart and cute, pretty interesting.
3. 34 year old professional man with whom I had a very long (3 1/2 hours) phone conversation.
4. Musician type who's very well versed.

THE BAD:
1. " i would like to meet a girl as you are" from some foreign man, and "so please reply me" from a different foreign man.

2. Anyone with poor grammar - using @ instead of writing "at," using "u" instead of "you," and writing in ghetto speak like using the word "holla."

3. Anyone who gives me his number in the first email asking to call.

4. Anyone who uses serial dating language in emails (that just signals desperate and frequent trollings of the interwebs for hookups...which is not what I am looking for)

5. Anyone who has a sketchy email address - some examples - "bigboi22," "cutesingle28m," "el rico williams" and using numbers in their email addresses for letters.

6. Anyone ugly - For example...ugh, you are NOT cute, or fit, and your picture shows a stupid cliche tattoo on a stupid cliche place and you have a farmer's tan. NO.He's the guy on the left. I think he looks like a pre-op tranny mixed with David Gest (Liza Minelli's ex that she beat, according to him). That might just be my opinion though?

7. Anyone who sends a picture and it looks completely professional and is probably not him. IE:8. Anyone who quotes KANYE WEST in the 6 page email. WTF? and yes, I am for real, he signed off with "professor kwest" ...... OKAY?

9. Anyone who LIES about how much they go to the gym. The guy in this photo claimed he goes 6x a week...well damn, you're chubs....10. Anyone who is already in a relationship. I don't care if you are "polyamorous" - NO. Too bad, he is okay looking and has a PhD from Johns Hopkins in Biology (except his email address was "a torrid affair" and that was just way too dramatic for what I am in for).

11. Anyone who sends me a link to their MYSPACE page for "pics and info"....and then I go and realize what a terrible mistake I made and reboot my computer in order to erase that from the laptop's memory.

12. The line " hello there keyanboiz here to rock ur world in all ways u want" - NO.

13. Fat people - telling me that you are "6'0 feet tall, chocalate skin, brown eyes, medium/large build(about the size of "cedric the entertainer)." is not the way to go...especially when you misspell chocolate...and it seems you love chocolate from the way you are.

14. Anyone with a funny name, like Larry or Arthur...or in one special case, he signed off with "Robbbb" yes, he apparently is special and has 4 b's in his name. NO.

15. People who claim to be in their 20s and look about 45.


Yes, I'm judgmental.