Back To The South

Some updates:

• I GRADUATED. Official alumnae status! Now these bloodsucking people better not start calling me for money...because I will have plenty of loans to pay back. HOLLER.
  
  
• hot man at the gym...totally MIA...I was crying on the inside. I am desperately hoping that he was away on vacation/at some military thing for Memorial Day and didn't just move or switch gyms, because I don't think I can do an entire summer without staring at his ... various muscle groups.
  
  
• work starts tomorrow...whee...
  
  
• parents are moving up north (woe is me), meaning I will no longer be in the south for any extended periods of time. So sad!! What sucks is that my dad has to move up there at the end of June, when his job starts, and my mom has to stay behind to sell the house, etc. Oh well.
  
  
• the boy has attempted to make contact many times...I am strong and I am adamant in that I will NOT be seeing him this summer because that will just lead to stupid stupid things leading to my being emotionally catatonic by the time law school starts.

okay it hit me.

I just said my good-bye to HEF and started tearing up and crying.

Alma Mater

The parents came into town Thursday night. Friday I gave them a nice tour of the campus, and then proceeded to usher them into various scholarship receptions that I had to attend. The most daunting one of which was the Trustee Dinner.

I didn't really have an idea why I was at the Trustee dinner, but according to the speech - I was one of the 24 students representing the 120 students in the senior class who received a trustee-sponsored scholarship. (Heck if I know which one that was) I was sitting at a table with my 2 parents, 7 trustees, and a vice provost...attempting to tell them why I deserved to be at the table, etc. The entire thing lasted 2 1/2 hours, longest dinner...ever. Surprise announcement of the night? 25million dollar donation by the family of the current Chairman of the Board of Trustees. They already give 5 million dollars a year to the scholarship foundation they set up not too long ago.

That night also marks the last time I will see the boy that I want to be my husband. I called him and told him to come and get his sweatshirt, so he did, and I got in the car for a ride down to where the bars were...and that was it. -sigh- Why do I have to lose him to San Diego of all places! Most graduates all head to NYC or somewhere close on the east coast. Of course, I am lamenting the loss of someone that I never really had (except we both acknowledge the mutual attraction and well, the terrible timing). But oh, what could have been.

I went out that night and got ridiculously plastered. Thank you bored bartender for taking tequila shots with me and giving me about 2 cups full of vodka that motivated me to give lap dances to my two girl friends who were with me. We then trucked on to an apartment party...where I fell on top of my friend because I was attempting to give him a hug and just lost all balance. That was the beginning of the end. I decided that I needed air so I proceeded to go outside on the balcony and start talking to these Brazillian boys...one of which was only 17.

I started reminiscing about high school and asked him about prom, and the next thing I know I'm kissing him on the cheeks for no apparent reason. Granted, a lot of my friends are European or really wish they were, so we do the kisses on the cheeks. I kissed a lot of people that night. All of my favorites were there. It was a great party to end the year and my college career. The pedophilia does not end there. Apparently, the boy was muttering "damnit" under his breath the entire night because he thought I was actually interested in him. So as I was leaving, and saying good-bye to everyone, his brother told me to plant a big one on his brother. Trashed as hell, I decided that was a good idea. So I basically fall onto him, grab his face, and start kissing him. He starts walking away because I probably scared the shit out of him, and I proceeded to grab his (I believe I still remember it) cute behind...several times. And then I finally left.

Apparently, I walk like Donatella Versace when I am drunk - except instead of a martini glass in my hand it's usually a cigarette.

Saturday - tour of the fun places near the campus. My parents and I peaced out pretty early b/c we were walking so much, but I ended up going out that night and take chocolate cake shots (frangelico and vanilla vodka, with lemon and sugar to top it off) and hang out and listen to drunk stories from a friend's drunk mother. A much less crazy night than friday since I had to get my ass up at 8am for the walk.

Sunday - yay graduation. So long, feet hurt so much (but my shoes were so hot), so boring. Got my diploma and it started raining. Oh well. Went to my friend's graduation reception (his dad is a prof) and that was awesome. His mom was SO excited and kind of drunk. She kept on exclaiming how pretty I was so I was in no place to complain about her drunken behavior. It was definitely good times. Best part is when my family and I decided to leave, the Brazillian clan walks in from across the street. I wave at the older brother and I can hear him say "hey there's your girlfriend" to the younger one. Bear in mind this is both in front of my parents and his - and also after 3 glasses of wine on my part - I decided to walk across the street and give him a GIANT hug. I probably made that boy's entire weekend. I do good things. mmhmm.

Now I have to drive home with my parents in a very packed SUV back to the south for the summer. I am hoping there will be less booze (my liver needs to detox) and less fun - I need a semi-normal life.

Almost There!

I drink a lot of gin, and it doesn't affect me. I can drink rum like it's water. I can shoot straight vodka, and everything will be fine. Tequila, however, affects me in another way.

After 2 shots of tequila each, HGF and I started belting out Beyonce's Irreplaceable, PCD's Buttons, Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You, Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby, Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, and I started singing Sisqo's Thong Song by myself.

And this all happened in a VERY full bar...while we were drinking Long Island Iced Teas...or rather, staring at them groaning because the tequila was hitting us so hard. Tequila makes me not able to focus on anything for more than 2 seconds, and just stare into space. All in all, tequila gives me almost the same feeling that another substance does.

I'm actually really excited to see my parents when they get in tomorrow night - they haven't been up here since they moved me in three years ago. This time I get to take them around campus and blah blah blah. YAY GRADUATION!!!

Senior Week

I've attended my first and final Senior Week event.

Going to an elementary school-esque carnival indoors after having a few too many shots of tequila makes me walk around in circles, blink profusely, unable to concentrate on one thing for too long, and left me in a very belligerent mood.

Best part of the night, while HGF and HEF were over watching Prison Break with me (c'mon, you know Wentworth Miller is worth it), the following exchange occurred.

Me: what the hell are you guys staring at?
HGF: that giant centipede on the wall!
Me: kill it!
HEF: with whose shoe??
Me: [walks over to the wall, staring intently at a piece of blue tape] where's the thing?
HGF: YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT!!!
Me: it's a piece of blue tape.
HEF: oh, we were wondering how you missed it.

Checking Out

I pretty much want to kill every freshman on campus right now. It's the last day of moving out, and of course, unlike last year when I was also a Resident Advisor, TWENTY of my THIRTY SIX residents want to check out TODAY. between the hours of 9am and 2pm.

I stumbled home around 1:30am, got to bed around 2:30am, stayed wide awake because I was drinking a diet Pepsi (liberal's coke) bottle filled half with vodka so all the caffeine was still coursing through my veins.

Then I get woken up in the middle of the night because some people are in the lounge screaming and being drunk. So I do what I always do - walk out completely incoherent and start screaming SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT.

Then I get woken up at 7:30am (fan-fucking-tastic) because all my residents who want to check out at fucking 9am and 10am have to pack. By pack I really mean they stand around and "oversee" while their parents do the heavy lifting and everything else. So they start talking, turning on their music, and making me want to bomb the entire building. BRILLIANT.

Somehow, I lasted in bed and without injuring anyone till 9am, when my first check-out was, and thankfully, the person was a nice, quiet, girl so I couldn't really take out my ire out on her. But I did start screaming and yelling at the kid next to the next check-out's room, because his music was at a level that is just not suitable for 9:30am...

I don't care if it's YOUR last day. It's NOT MINE. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I was going to change my status on facebook to "[GRITS] is going to kill some freshmen today" but decided that that was probably not appropriate given light of some recent events.

One good thing out of this - freshman give me a bottle of tequila.

Things to Do

Best sex of my life...last night...20 year old football player.

Why did I not travel down this glorious path earlier!?!

I should've known these football meatheads had the moves and obviously the stamina.

Too bad he's leaving for the summer tomorrow.

I've hit up the professor, the TA, the hipster, the athletes...
Up next...sex in the library before I graduate. And maybe a nerd? Hmm.

Pariah!

I have been making a lot of impromptu decisions lately, one of which included taking a weekend trip to NYC with HJF.

It was a pretty amazing time - we bummed around SoHo, had lunch in Chinatown, wandered around Washington Heights, etc. We go back to my friend (L) 's apartment, shower, have a couple of shots each, and we head out to Greenwich for dinner and to different clubs/bars, etc.

***I'll actually write about my experience in NYC in a later entry, but chronicling my friend's spiral into insanity merits its own entry***

On the subway, HJF gets extremely offended over something that he wouldn't tell us, so as soon as we get to our stop, he walks the other way and leaves me in NYC with L. He refuses to answer the phone, refuses to listen to our voicemails, so I finally text him and we try to foget about the fact that he was being extremely childish in the way he handled his anger over a bottle of wine and extremely good and cheap (in NYC!) Thai food. I even called all of our college friends to ask that they call him in an attempt to get him to answer the phone. At 11, he texts me back with a message that says he's heading back, and that he hopes we have a great night.

Ok. Clearly, something is wrong here.
1. he wouldn't even tell us why he was mad at us.
2. he LEFT without ANY of his stuff, leaving me in the middle of NYC with his crap and oh yeah, leaving me ALONE in NYC.

So the next day he sends L a message on facebook asking that we ship his stuff to him and he'll just pay the shipping costs. If I had to carry that 40pound piece of crap around with me, I would've chucked it in the nearest river (Hudson) or in the nearest garbage can...or pawn his shit. L took the high road (and she doesn't even know HJF at all) and said she would ship it to him. But she called him first, and demanded to know what exactly was going on.

Basically, from what we gathered, he was angry because we had patronized him the entire time on the subway. How? I do not know. When we asked for specific examples of when we displayed this sort of behavior, he didn't have an answer. He thought that we just wanted to hang out with each other and that he was being a burden on the two of us having fun. Ok. Well, leaving all of your shit in L's apartment is not a burden either?

I thought only girls did shit like this. I just could not believe he threw a fit and just up and left.

So once I get back Monday morning, I start talking to all of my friends because they were all extremely confused and worried about what had happened. Now everyone is ostracizing him, and for good reason.

He left me in NYC, killed HGF's favorite fish by pouring beer into the tank, was being a giant asshole to HBF, and isn't really good friends with Pradabag anyway.

He even dared to instant message HGF yesterday about how we didn't invite him to dinner with us...even though he was walking OUT of the dining hall as we were walking IN, and he had a final later that night. Part of the message included "way to treat me like a second-class friend" and "weak."

Okay you self-righteous bastard, do NOT dare play the victim. You left ME in NYC, how is that treating me any better? You're treating me like a third-world citizen. HGF almost took a knife to his brother's throat when his brother killed his fish...so the fact that your limbs are still intact says something about his ability to move past things. Unlike yours.

I don't even feel upset that our friends are all avoiding him like the plague. He completely and totally deserves it.

HMOTD

In the spirit of commencement speakers and collegiate graduations, the HMOTD is Matthew Fox, the 2007 Columbia Class Day Speaker. So. Hot. The Columbia students actually protested his being chosen as Class Day Speaker because he hasn't done anything worthwhile (last year's was John McCain). One girl was quoted in the Columbia Spectator (CU Campus Newspaper) as saying "I've never heard of him."

You live in NYC! How can you NOT be immersed in pop culture? I don't even watch Lost but he's on the cover of a lot of magazines, and Lost is a pretty damn popular show and it would be pretty hard for you to ignore his existence.

Anyway, I can't believe he's 40. I also can't believe he played wide receiver for Columbia...who has one of the worst football teams in the Ivy League (so that's REALLY saying something).

His speech was pretty good, funny at times, inspiring. I'm glad he focused on the fact that you should follow your passions and make choices for yourself and not anyone else (some things obviously he did) rather than the bland usual remarks about the journey ahead of you.

Here's the video of his speech. It's not bad quality, but it's a video of the big screen TV showing Matthew Fox. Guests of graduates sit in that tent and watch the TV while graduates sit in front of them and see the actual speaker.

D for Degree

I finished writing ALL my papers tonight! YAY!!!! At some point I transitioned (in 2 sentences) from writing about import car racing to globalization. WHOO. BULLSHIT.


In other news, apparently, if I don't consume alcohol, I don't go to bed early. (Is this a sign of dependence?)

For the past couple of days, I've been going to bed before midnight every night, and I've been driking every night. I got a bit sick and so I chilled out on the booze for the day, and I can't seem to go to bed.

This is my fault - I started watching Prison Break (Wentworth Miller can father my children any time he wants) tonight and I can't stop.

Graduation

It has finally sink in that I will not be an undergraduate student (ever!) in about a day's time. My last two papers are due tomorrow (and I just finished one of them). Then all that stands between me and the diploma is 2 weeks time and that pesky commencement ceremony.

I honestly got a little scared today as I thought about it, so what did I do? Shop online for more mature clothing. That's possibly the most idiotic and consumer(istic?) thing that I could have possibly done, but there goes $116 of my money (I claim it's my own personal graduation present).

I've had different fashion for every stage of my life. In high school, it was always a band tee and jeans (because hello, all I did outside of school was music related). In college, I've upgraded to the layering concept because 1) I am poor so buying pieces that you can mix and match or wear alone makes it seem like you had a lot more choices/clothes, and 2) it's fucking cold here and you must layer for warmth. Although I must admit, I've fallen into the sweatpants and sweatshirt rut every so often. Now for my impending "business casual only" summer job (that deal with younger people), I have to buy more collared things, things that do NOT show my cleavage, and pants that are not denim. The fun part about growing up is being able to buy clothes! (and shoes! and accessories!)

In high school, I wasn't nervous or sad about going to college either. Hell, like right now, I was really antsy to get the heck out of that place. I don't know why, but I like to grow up (well, not the wrinkles and the saggy everything and the high risks for disease parts). I think I like to have more responsibility because I've always been a very independent person, and I'm finally getting what I know I deserve.

Although I know I'm going to miss the friends that I've made here a hell of a lot more than the friends that I made in high school. There was a reason that I wanted to get out of high school - mainly, the people. Everyone was the same, everyone was boring, and everyone was bland. Even though I'm anxious to get the fuck out of college, it's not because my friends are boring, but rather because I can't deal with this institution.

However, law school is going to be a giant bitch. I am going to want to kill the gunners, buy stock in coffee, become immersed in the inevitable drama of law school, and possibly drown in debt from being an alcoholic.

I saw the law students of my university out last night using their Contracts books as coasters for their carafes and glasses of Sangria. And to be honest, I can't wait till I can be a pretentious bitchy law student and look down on the undergraduates...then I can't wait to be a pretentious and bitching 2L looking down on the 1Ls...then 3L to 2Ls...then an actual associated looking down at the petty law students...etc etc.

I'm just on an everlasting quest of obtaining merit and approval so that I can look down on others. This may or may not be indicative of an inferiority complex (well, I am a minority, so this is completely validated in my mind) but I don't care. It's true - I like to put down others in order to make myself feel better.

Dashboard Confessional

On my way to the library today (yes, I actually did work) I passed a couple, and they almost made me tear up. They were the quintessential cute couple - not made up, not making out, just holding hands and walking across the quad. The way that they looked at each other and the way that they were interacting with each other made it very clear that these two were obviously in love. And I miss that.

I was never sad about breaking up with the Ex this time, because I cried and broke down about that all last year, and I never dove back into the relationship 100% (which probably contributed to the ultimate demise), but at that moment this morning, I yearned for that feeling again - the feeling that you're not whole without that person, the feeling that he is all you need in this life.

So I listened to some Dashboard Confessional when I got to the library to start working on my Astro final paper (probably not the best idea). I needed the catharsis, or at least maybe feel better about myself because he sounds so miserable.

"And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.
This is incredible. Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?"

Day #3 of Lost Sobriety Binge

Fraternity Formal - Math:

Lost: sobriety, self-respect
Found: good food
Won: Most Bro'ed Out (because I started the night off by drinking Jack Daniels when everyone else started by drinking Andre...)

collegeeeeee.

The Sum of It All

Lost: sobriety, self-control
Found: Dior sunglasses
Won: Most Likely To Dance On A Table

Last night was one of the best nights of my life. My formal date was phenomenal and we were obviously the hottest couple there. Had way too much to drink, so as soon as I got to the place, I had to pee...instead of waiting in line, I decided to use the Men's bathroom. So I was peeing the same time my date and HGF were. WHOO!

Lots of dancing occurred, and it was awesome. One thing to note - I dont know why guys always grab my head when they dance with me (read: grind on me when we are face to face).

When the Stoney Jew and I were dancing, he would grab my head and we would just dance nose to nose. It was really fucking bizarre, and I didn't get it. Although the creepiest part about that night was when we were making out heavily on the dance floor and this random dude said "THAT'S SO HOT" and when we froze in awkwardness to look at him, he decided the best course of action to take at that point was to say "CONTINUE!"

Anyway, last night was no different. The date would grab my head a lot. I didn't get it then, and I didn't get it last night. HGF decided that it looked really bizarre from the outside.

Anyway, my dress was pretty hot. It was short, with sunburst pleats and a halter. It was pretty thin material so I couldn't wear a bra with it, and I have pretty large puppies, so I was a little wary that I was going to accidently flash EVERYONE. Although I'm pretty sure I flashed everyone my underwear - I wore hot pink boyshorts just for that purpose.

If my date EVER reads this (you saucy minx you), THANKS for
1. being the best formal date ever
2. being the cutest nutjob in the world
3. not writing a paper that's due at 3pm the next day to come to formal
4. giving me your sweatshirt for the way back!

Marry me???

Bad points in the night - HBF's date never showed b/c he had a final presentation to do that night and didn't make it to the bus and just never came. My little's date (HJF) didn't show because he had a 101 fever and a sinus infection. My other little's date ended up leaving the formal without telling her! BOO to those bastards.

Creepy? No, not at all

He is a GREAT dancer. He is adorable. He is a genuinely nice gentleman...with morals.

That means I didn't get laid. But on the other hand, he is a very suitable candidate for marriage.

And since I didn't get to sleep with him, I might as well sleep in the sweatshirt that he let me borrow...

Yes, I am creepy. Shut up.

Hot Mess Of The Day

The Britney Spears Come-Back '07 machine has officially been started. She performed a show at the House of Blues in San Diego last night and is scheduled to perform 2 more shows in 2 more SoCal HOBs.

According to reports, her set was about 10 minutes long, but filled with a lap dance and lots of lip-synced dancing. She didn't speak to the crowd at all, and just came, performed under The M + Ms (stands for Mom and Ms=Single now) and left.

Honestly, I wanted to see her wig fly off during one of those dances. Sadly, it did not. I have to say, she is really cute, and has really toned herself since Cheeterline-gate and her two kids in 04...but judging from the pictures, she really needs to hire a stylist (whose name is not Rachel Zoe). While her abs are almost back to "I'm a Slave 4 u" days, they still do not need to be paired with a hot pink bra and something that looks like a really cheap version of a Dallas Cowboys uniform.

Well, a step forward is a step forward.

Clothes

Kate Moss debuted her Top Shop line yesterday...and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

On one hand, I really enjoy her eclectic style, and from some shots I've seen of her new line - they seem to be pretty true to the Moss-style - very funky, very cute. In the interview, Kate says that she draws inspiration from her own closet, about pieces that she owns and what she would do to them to make them wearable, funky, etc...and about pieces that she wishes she could make. That seems reasonable enough to me. Many people look to her as a style icon, and there are plenty of websites and other resources out there that chronicle her fashion style and tell interested readers how to put certain Kate Moss outfits together (what pieces to buy, where to buy, how much each pieces are...along with cheaper versions of every outfit).

On the other hand, I really can't get over the fact that so many celebrities are coming out with fashion lines. You are not a fashion designer. You never will be...because you never had the training. You don't know how to sketch, how to put fabric swatches together, how to stitch, etc.

Celebrities hire people out for their fashion lines, and while they have the ultimate say in whether a design gets put into production -that's not the role of a designer...rather the head of a particular label (who usually was a designer in the past).

Example: how the fuck did someone like Sarah Jessica Parker get to start a fashion line? I understand that Kate Moss picks out her own clothes, and lord knows Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen do too...but we all know SJP has a fucking stylist. That stylist should be the one with the fashion line, not SJP. Moreover, SJP is an ACTRESS - do people NOT understand the fact that she merely PORTRAYED an incredibly stylish New York journalist? She is not really a fashion icon - the people who styled her as Carrie Bradshaw are.