Graduation

It has finally sink in that I will not be an undergraduate student (ever!) in about a day's time. My last two papers are due tomorrow (and I just finished one of them). Then all that stands between me and the diploma is 2 weeks time and that pesky commencement ceremony.

I honestly got a little scared today as I thought about it, so what did I do? Shop online for more mature clothing. That's possibly the most idiotic and consumer(istic?) thing that I could have possibly done, but there goes $116 of my money (I claim it's my own personal graduation present).

I've had different fashion for every stage of my life. In high school, it was always a band tee and jeans (because hello, all I did outside of school was music related). In college, I've upgraded to the layering concept because 1) I am poor so buying pieces that you can mix and match or wear alone makes it seem like you had a lot more choices/clothes, and 2) it's fucking cold here and you must layer for warmth. Although I must admit, I've fallen into the sweatpants and sweatshirt rut every so often. Now for my impending "business casual only" summer job (that deal with younger people), I have to buy more collared things, things that do NOT show my cleavage, and pants that are not denim. The fun part about growing up is being able to buy clothes! (and shoes! and accessories!)

In high school, I wasn't nervous or sad about going to college either. Hell, like right now, I was really antsy to get the heck out of that place. I don't know why, but I like to grow up (well, not the wrinkles and the saggy everything and the high risks for disease parts). I think I like to have more responsibility because I've always been a very independent person, and I'm finally getting what I know I deserve.

Although I know I'm going to miss the friends that I've made here a hell of a lot more than the friends that I made in high school. There was a reason that I wanted to get out of high school - mainly, the people. Everyone was the same, everyone was boring, and everyone was bland. Even though I'm anxious to get the fuck out of college, it's not because my friends are boring, but rather because I can't deal with this institution.

However, law school is going to be a giant bitch. I am going to want to kill the gunners, buy stock in coffee, become immersed in the inevitable drama of law school, and possibly drown in debt from being an alcoholic.

I saw the law students of my university out last night using their Contracts books as coasters for their carafes and glasses of Sangria. And to be honest, I can't wait till I can be a pretentious bitchy law student and look down on the undergraduates...then I can't wait to be a pretentious and bitching 2L looking down on the 1Ls...then 3L to 2Ls...then an actual associated looking down at the petty law students...etc etc.

I'm just on an everlasting quest of obtaining merit and approval so that I can look down on others. This may or may not be indicative of an inferiority complex (well, I am a minority, so this is completely validated in my mind) but I don't care. It's true - I like to put down others in order to make myself feel better.