movies i can watch over and over again

in no order -

love actually
never been kissed
edward scissorhands
the notebook
10 things i hate about you
sixteen candles
pretty in pink
mean girls

Year in Review

1. Graduated college
2. Got into my first choice law school
3. Finished my first semester of law school
4. Had my first serious relationship since the 3 1/2yr relationship ended last year

Now I'm in something new...I've decided that I'll tell the current boy my feelings for Christmas. My present for him - my feelings. I've never actually told him "I like you" it's always come out as an answer to him asking me if I liked him, so I figure that'd be a good thing to share...or give.

No Motivation.

I really want to be a celebrity - for no reason other than the fact that I would have to work a hell of a lot less for a hell of a lot more.

Who needs privacy? Someone make me famous. And give me boatloads of free designer goodies.

Thanks. Back to being a poor law student.

In other news, I had a semi-emotional freakout last night over my nonexistent feelings. I am terrified of getting attached to this boy, but at the same time I want to get attached to the boy. So I do really redundant contradictory things that send messages that are beyond comprehension. I finally realized that the boy is all kinds of confused (mostly because he asked me why I was being unaffectionate - whether it was him or if I was just always like that). To be honest, who knows. All the guys I've dated previously go to the gym and weightlift 5 times a week. This one is tall and lanky. So physically it takes some adjusting. At the same time, I'm just not the world's most affectionate girl, and it's not like he's my boyfriend, so who cares if I'm not hugging on him all the time.

Anyway, I thought he was pulling back and making this into some sort of pluralistic sexual arrangement and got kind of caught off guard. I mean, are we allowed to see other people? meet other people? sleep with other people?

Then he drunkdialed me last night. In my warped and half-awake mind it made me feel better - that he was thinking about me when he was out that night, and afterwards.

Things that are Bad

1. Getting used to having the boy in my bed.

2. Feelings.

3. Being sad because I am sleeping alone tonight.

4. Finals.

5. Dreaming about finals.

GOD HATES ME.

It's official. My laptop has officially died. It no longer runs normal windows, and will only boot on Safe Mode, and even then runs at a snail's pace. My computer has been fucking up for a while now. If any of you can recall, there was a time when my spacebar didn't actually work, lol.

So with finals in a week and this bullshit going on, I sucked it up, went to the Mac store, and bought a MacBook this morning.

What happened this morning officially turned me off from ever being a PC user again, and has converted me to being a Mac user. So damn you Mac commercials, damn you Steve Job, and everyone else.

In other news - I was able to salvage some things from my piece of nonworking metal and hardware - IE: my outlines, my resume, my coverletters, my pictures...at some point I will transfer music to this computer, but as of right now, I'm going to be a dedicated Pandora listener.

I have FEELINGS?

The boy I took as my date to my professor's party drunkenly told me that he liked me that night. Basically said he actually liked me, which is why he didn't plan on having sex with me that night...because mixing those two early on is usually not a good idea. We had a talk about it being casual and whatnot.

So last night after going out, I end up drunk at his apartment at 3:30AM. One thing leads to another, etc. We ended up going to sleep at like 5AM. He likes to cuddle, and I like touching him.

I wake up this morning. And we're laying in bed. He turns and puts his arm around me and kisses me on the cheek and then closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. And that's the point when I realized that I'm actually developing feelings for this boy...or maybe I already have feelings for him. The only thing that went through my head was "shit," because I didn't mean for it to turn into anything - not that I'm upset that it has turned into something.

But I actually like him - beyond the physical. I like it when he hugs and kisses me.

It snowed last night. And we stood there, with his arms around me, and looked out the window. It was a perfect moment, and I think we both realized something was going on. Because after that, he just acted like a socially awkward giddy 13 year old boy.

Men's Shoes

Okay, so I'm completely superficial - but I have realized that I judge men based on their shoes.

For example - I took this one boy to my professor's party on Wednesday. He was wearing a nice gray wool JCrew coat, navy blue fitted sweater, pink button down underneath, and a pair of dark wash Xpress men's jeans that fit him pretty well. Nice black belt.

And then I noticed the shoes. To me, the ultimate sin is when a man wears a pair of jeans with black dress shoes. Am I right or am I crazy? But I think that look is awful and I connotate it with the jersey shore and the Gotti boys.

The boy was SO adorable though. So I made it through the rest of the night without looking down, because lord knows I would've just been completely turned off.

Other superficial turn-off's - boys who can't match, boys who wear t-shirts all the time, boys who wear white socks with dark shoes (and vice versa), boys who wear boxers (because to me that just means he has a small dick), boys who don't groom themselves (fix your fucking unibrow!),