No Motivation.

I really want to be a celebrity - for no reason other than the fact that I would have to work a hell of a lot less for a hell of a lot more.

Who needs privacy? Someone make me famous. And give me boatloads of free designer goodies.

Thanks. Back to being a poor law student.

In other news, I had a semi-emotional freakout last night over my nonexistent feelings. I am terrified of getting attached to this boy, but at the same time I want to get attached to the boy. So I do really redundant contradictory things that send messages that are beyond comprehension. I finally realized that the boy is all kinds of confused (mostly because he asked me why I was being unaffectionate - whether it was him or if I was just always like that). To be honest, who knows. All the guys I've dated previously go to the gym and weightlift 5 times a week. This one is tall and lanky. So physically it takes some adjusting. At the same time, I'm just not the world's most affectionate girl, and it's not like he's my boyfriend, so who cares if I'm not hugging on him all the time.

Anyway, I thought he was pulling back and making this into some sort of pluralistic sexual arrangement and got kind of caught off guard. I mean, are we allowed to see other people? meet other people? sleep with other people?

Then he drunkdialed me last night. In my warped and half-awake mind it made me feel better - that he was thinking about me when he was out that night, and afterwards.