Mr. Hankey

I tried my hardest not to care, because honestly, I really thought I didn't...until everyone else started caring.

Now I can't get thoughts of that boy out of my head, and I don't really want to tell anyone, because I don't want to validate their what-I-thought-were empty conjectures and have them do idiotic things on my behalf (like text messaging the boy's housemate for his number...) or make me do even more moronic things.

Moreover, I can't escape him because everyone else is caught up in it, and everywhere I go there is something that reminds me of him - like seeing his housemates at liquor stores and having that really awkward moment of mutual recognition and shame.

For some reason, I feel ashamed for even liking this boy. I have no idea why. He's cute, smart, and we have a ton of things in common. Yet, for an unknown reason, I feel like I have a crush on the high school ogre and everyone will make fun of me if it is revealed...when that's completely not the case. Something about this situation is making me feel really apprehensive about approaching anything with this boy, and yet I have those romantic notions (fueled by my friends' wild speculations no less) that I have all the time of a courtship turned serious, and then just having lots of cute babies running around.

Yep, I am delusional, my brain is melting in a sea of alcohol in my skull.