Finally

So I left...tears and all. We decided that we would take things one step at a time. Have him come up Labor Day weekend, see how that goes, and then make (or not make) plans for the next time to visit.

Classes have started - they're not all that bad. I've been spending SO much money on going out to eat with people and going out to drink - it sucks that those are the only 2 ways to be social with the people around here.

I need to go on a 2 week crash diet before the boy gets here...or he's going to not want to date me. I really don't know how this is going to end except in tears. I have never felt so intensely about a relationship that is barely leaving its nascent stage. And I don't think he has either. It sucks to have felt all of that and then to leave it all behind, so I guess we're just going to be hopeful...and it really comes down to me.

He has never been in a long distance relationship, and I have and then have regretted it because I felt like it just prolonged the failure of our relationship. When I was away, I never wanted to talk to the exboyfriend, and whenever he called I couldn't wait to get off the phone. But I actually want to talk on the phone with this boy, and I actually miss him. I never missed the exboyfriend, but I constantly wish I could have a hug or a kiss from this one.

I tried to take it slow over the summer, we both did - because we knew I would be gone and never come back. Now I'm contemplating visiting during winter break, spring break, and getting a summer firm job down south so I could live with him for the summer.

Our hearts are more desperate than our brains.